John is moving to North Carolina. It's actually happening. I feel silly for not believing he would follow through and feel guilty for doubting him. But this time, he's moved out of his apartment and already has a place in N. Carolina. I don't think I'm ready for him to leave. He's one of my best friends, and I won't get to say goodbye. It's like a movie moment--but one I've never envied: coming home to someone who's no longer there.
And like our entire relationship, I don't know what I'm losing. Am I losing a best friend or someone I dated? Either way, it doesn't make the situation hurt any less. He says he'll visit, and maybe he will once or twice, but after that, I'm sure our friendship will begin to dwindle and dissolve.
It's selfish of me to expect him to stay in Kansas forever. I can't ask him to wait for me, especially since I know it's my own hangups that have kept us apart. He's an amazing guy; he'll make some girl really happy. I just don't know anymore if that girl is me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment