This is why I do it

Stage Troupe opened "The Laramie Project" tonight. It's my last show with the group, and I'm being entirely honest by saying that I feel blessed to be a part of it. The performance had gliches, of course, but none were devestating.

Best part? Andy Paris, one of the original playerwrights/member of the company/actor came for the second act and to do a talk back afterwards. He applauded our production during the talkback, and he seemed as though he really enjoyed it. He was actually surprised that none of us were acting majors. It all felt so weird and surreal, considering one of the actors (myself included) actually played HIM in the show. His talkback really helped me realize how much of a continuing impact this show has on not only the residents of Laramie, but on people across the country.

During the talkback, someone asked all of us when the moment that we really felt connected with the show occurred. I hadn't planned on mentioning it, because I hadn't really mentioned it to anyone all week, but i mentioned Chris' death on Sunday. How I felt so truly connected to the show now because I had a sense of what it would be like to take your own child/brother off of life support, and how devestating it would be for everyone involved. After the talkback, an adult woman who I'd never met came up to me and said "It's okay, I understand how you feel. And it's okay to cry." And I broke down. I finally let myself deal with Chris' death and how it is affecting my brother. I wish it hadn't been in front of a group of people, but I'm glad I dealt with it nonetheless.

After that, we (as tradition) went to Sunset with the cast. Andy joined us and sat next to me. We got to pick his brain about everything "Laramie" related for the next two hours. He really seems like a great guy. Very genuine. In fact, a lot of us could now "hear" him in the script: his voice, his mannerisms, his way of speaking. Truly amazing. Andy and I actually talked about how, for us (he also grew up in the Midwest), Larmaie didn't seem as if it was "worlds away." We both knew people who had the mentalities of those in Laramie. It was great to bond with someone on that level because I often felt that I was one of the few in the cast to come from a sheltered area, and it was refreshing to know I wasn't alone in that.

All and all, this was a night for the books. The experience tonight performing "The Larmaie Project" reminded me what doing theatre is all about. It has an ability to affect people--to make people think. To change. And, tonight, I was a part of that change.

Speed the Plow--That's What She Said

Once my funds are sufficient, I have a new game plan. I desperately want to see "Speed the Plow" on Broadway.

Reasons to start saving pennies:
1) Jeremy Piven. I love everything he touches--most notably "Entourage," but also all his crusades with John Cusack. I'd love to see his second foray into theatre.
2) David Mamet's shows fascinate me. They focus almost entirely on the power of man, while still managing to incorporate (arguably) useless female roles. The female characters only seem to highlight the importance of the man.
3) Raul Esparza. He's an amazing actor and I was fortunate enough to seem him front row in "Company" a couple years back. I'd love to see him in a straight play.
4) Elisabeth Moss from "Mad Men." See a couple posts back and you'll understand why this part is cool. She's a little frumpy, but that would definitely make sense in a Mamet show.
5) Jeremy Piven, again. He's hot. Let's deal.

Maybe next semester?

Seize the day, eh?

Last week, someone told me I have an "artist's soul," and I couldn't help but snicker. I love to perform, but I'd never considered it as a potential career in any regard. So where did he come from, saying I had an "artist's soul"?

Of course, this got me thinking more. I might be more connected to an artist than I thought. I love creating, I love expressing myself. Over the summer, I started playing the piano again. No lessons, no overbearing concern about my posture or length of my fingernails. I just played what I felt like playing and when I felt like playing, which actually became quite often. And now at school, when I feel overwhelmed or lonely or particularly emotional, there's no piano to pour my feelings into. Likewise, there are no plays to disappear into. Because acting, above all other forms of expression, is where I find my release. Comedy or drama, I need a challenge. And right now, with the show that I'm in, I feel unchallenged. It's no one's fault, of course, I think that I just hit a wall. I've taken my character as far as I can go, and it's not as far as I'd like.

I'll be the first to admit that I think I'm an extremely logical person. I have very ambitious career goals that keep me on a timeline for the next few years of my life. But now I'm starting to wonder, did I go to fast? Did I miss out on some of the things I should have by always having my nose in a book? I can't help but fear that I have. I'm young now and that won't always be the case...and an artist wouldn't let these opportunities pass her by.