It's been a while. I guess I've just been trying to catch my breath and get my bearings about me. It is officially my last semester at school. I'm entirely undecided about what I want to do after graduation. To avoid the what-ifs and definite game plans, I have been fully imersing myself in things that are ridiculous, such as my everything-a-person-could-ever-want-to-know-about Alice in Wonderland book. It's quite fabulous, actually.
You know as kids, how we all hope to be “happy” when we’re older? That that’s how we measure success—in happiness. At least, we hope that’s how we’ll measure it. That I imagined my happiness to one day be contingent on the amount of Barbies I had or even as simple as knowing I was achieving my dreams. Because who wants to admit that what they really want out of life is a great job or money?
Then I look at myself: if I don’t get into law school, I WILL feel like a failure. If I don’t get a job, I WILL consider myself a failure. Why do I need these sorts of accomplishments to measure my self worth? If it’s not a top tier law school, I’ve convinced myself that my academics mean nothing. If it’s not a high paying dream job, then I just wasn’t worth a second glance. The “Go big or go home” mentality seems to have really set in.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Back to the Blog
My life has been an explosion this the past month. I'll sum things up here and expand on them later, because believe me, some of my life is so worth expansion.
So I went to Holland for Thanksgiving break. It was nine days overflowing with jetlag, delicious food, fabulous family, and adventures with Crazy Henry.
My return, on the other hand, was not adventurous or glamorous. I have spent more time these past two weeks in the library than I have spent in my own apartment.
I had an 85 page project due the Friday I got back, I took the LSATs last Saturday, I had two 10 page papers and a presentation all on the same day, and (here's the kicker) a 25 page paper due on Thursday. But now, I'm one final away from FREEDOM! Or, as close to freedom as I can get in Overland Park.
Update to come. Pinky promise.
So I went to Holland for Thanksgiving break. It was nine days overflowing with jetlag, delicious food, fabulous family, and adventures with Crazy Henry.
My return, on the other hand, was not adventurous or glamorous. I have spent more time these past two weeks in the library than I have spent in my own apartment.
I had an 85 page project due the Friday I got back, I took the LSATs last Saturday, I had two 10 page papers and a presentation all on the same day, and (here's the kicker) a 25 page paper due on Thursday. But now, I'm one final away from FREEDOM! Or, as close to freedom as I can get in Overland Park.
Update to come. Pinky promise.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Speed the Plow--That's What She Said
Once my funds are sufficient, I have a new game plan. I desperately want to see "Speed the Plow" on Broadway.
Reasons to start saving pennies:
1) Jeremy Piven. I love everything he touches--most notably "Entourage," but also all his crusades with John Cusack. I'd love to see his second foray into theatre.
2) David Mamet's shows fascinate me. They focus almost entirely on the power of man, while still managing to incorporate (arguably) useless female roles. The female characters only seem to highlight the importance of the man.
3) Raul Esparza. He's an amazing actor and I was fortunate enough to seem him front row in "Company" a couple years back. I'd love to see him in a straight play.
4) Elisabeth Moss from "Mad Men." See a couple posts back and you'll understand why this part is cool. She's a little frumpy, but that would definitely make sense in a Mamet show.
5) Jeremy Piven, again. He's hot. Let's deal.
Maybe next semester?
Reasons to start saving pennies:
1) Jeremy Piven. I love everything he touches--most notably "Entourage," but also all his crusades with John Cusack. I'd love to see his second foray into theatre.
2) David Mamet's shows fascinate me. They focus almost entirely on the power of man, while still managing to incorporate (arguably) useless female roles. The female characters only seem to highlight the importance of the man.
3) Raul Esparza. He's an amazing actor and I was fortunate enough to seem him front row in "Company" a couple years back. I'd love to see him in a straight play.
4) Elisabeth Moss from "Mad Men." See a couple posts back and you'll understand why this part is cool. She's a little frumpy, but that would definitely make sense in a Mamet show.
5) Jeremy Piven, again. He's hot. Let's deal.
Maybe next semester?
Monday, November 10, 2008
Fashion Shmashion
Dear Dumb Comm. Ave Girl,
It's 36 degrees outside. Why are you wearing a skirt and flipflops? Was that some weird walk of shame on a Monday at 3 pm? If so, kudos to you; you clearly had a good weekend. If not, wear pants. You weren't fooling anyone--you looked very cold. Also, don't glare at people when they look at you strangely. It's freezing. They know it; you should too.
Best of luck in the future,
The sensible girl in pants and a coat.
It's 36 degrees outside. Why are you wearing a skirt and flipflops? Was that some weird walk of shame on a Monday at 3 pm? If so, kudos to you; you clearly had a good weekend. If not, wear pants. You weren't fooling anyone--you looked very cold. Also, don't glare at people when they look at you strangely. It's freezing. They know it; you should too.
Best of luck in the future,
The sensible girl in pants and a coat.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The President Elect
What’s a blog without a little controversy from time to time? So, here goes…
I am a conservative. Conservative, not Republican. I registered as an Independent voter because, honestly, I went into this election with an open mind. I didn’t like either of my choices for the next President, but I listened to each of their opinions and plans of action. I grew up with an understanding that a vote is a personal decision (my own mother never told me who she voted for), so I won’t disclose it even here. The man I wanted to win, however, won.
The problems in our country, particularly the economic pitfalls that are constantly snowballing, will not be fixed in the next four years. By anyone. If a Republican went into office and failed (which, albeit cynical, is eminent), the American people would not see a Republican in office for at least two more terms. Now that a Democrat is going into office, the American people will know that the problems in our country are not something that can be corrected quickly or easily. No amount of “Yes, we can!” will change that.
This is the awful part: I’m looking forward to seeing their Democrat hero fail. He is a celebrity, not a politician. He is a good, charismatic man, don’t get me wrong—but the American people need more than an idealistic, pretty face running our country.
As a college student soon to be job-searching in a horrible job market or taking out law school loans in an unstable economy, I’d love to eat my words in the next couple years. Only time will tell.
I am a conservative. Conservative, not Republican. I registered as an Independent voter because, honestly, I went into this election with an open mind. I didn’t like either of my choices for the next President, but I listened to each of their opinions and plans of action. I grew up with an understanding that a vote is a personal decision (my own mother never told me who she voted for), so I won’t disclose it even here. The man I wanted to win, however, won.
The problems in our country, particularly the economic pitfalls that are constantly snowballing, will not be fixed in the next four years. By anyone. If a Republican went into office and failed (which, albeit cynical, is eminent), the American people would not see a Republican in office for at least two more terms. Now that a Democrat is going into office, the American people will know that the problems in our country are not something that can be corrected quickly or easily. No amount of “Yes, we can!” will change that.
This is the awful part: I’m looking forward to seeing their Democrat hero fail. He is a celebrity, not a politician. He is a good, charismatic man, don’t get me wrong—but the American people need more than an idealistic, pretty face running our country.
As a college student soon to be job-searching in a horrible job market or taking out law school loans in an unstable economy, I’d love to eat my words in the next couple years. Only time will tell.
Monday, November 3, 2008
It's A Very, Very Mad World
This is entirely crazy, I know, but I wish my life were more like the show Mad Men. It's awful; I'm a woman in the 21st century, and I'd rather go back to a time when women were just entering the work force and even then, it was just as a secretary.
But oh, the clothes. The a-line dresses, the bouffants, the crinoline skirts. They amaze me on a weekly basis. Sure, AMC stylizes them and puts colors together that were probably unstylish at the time, but the result is always fantastic. On that note, I'd kill to meet a man who wears a pocket square.
The way the men treat women is something of an entirely different time, rightfully so. I know some of the men on the show cheat on their wives (which I actually appreciate the show portraying--it was a time when women knew it was happening to them but couldn't do anything about it). The men who don't cheat, however, are downright gentlemen. Mad Men shows the way that courtships should happen: men never letting a woman's drink empty, holding the door open for her, promising protection and security, etc. I know that I'm romanticizing a time period that was underpinned with hardship and depression, but I'd really to think that an outwardly Doris Day existence is possible. Or maybe my mindset is stuck in the 1960s...
But oh, the clothes. The a-line dresses, the bouffants, the crinoline skirts. They amaze me on a weekly basis. Sure, AMC stylizes them and puts colors together that were probably unstylish at the time, but the result is always fantastic. On that note, I'd kill to meet a man who wears a pocket square.
The way the men treat women is something of an entirely different time, rightfully so. I know some of the men on the show cheat on their wives (which I actually appreciate the show portraying--it was a time when women knew it was happening to them but couldn't do anything about it). The men who don't cheat, however, are downright gentlemen. Mad Men shows the way that courtships should happen: men never letting a woman's drink empty, holding the door open for her, promising protection and security, etc. I know that I'm romanticizing a time period that was underpinned with hardship and depression, but I'd really to think that an outwardly Doris Day existence is possible. Or maybe my mindset is stuck in the 1960s...
Thursday, October 30, 2008
What Am I Saying Goodbye To?
John is moving to North Carolina. It's actually happening. I feel silly for not believing he would follow through and feel guilty for doubting him. But this time, he's moved out of his apartment and already has a place in N. Carolina. I don't think I'm ready for him to leave. He's one of my best friends, and I won't get to say goodbye. It's like a movie moment--but one I've never envied: coming home to someone who's no longer there.
And like our entire relationship, I don't know what I'm losing. Am I losing a best friend or someone I dated? Either way, it doesn't make the situation hurt any less. He says he'll visit, and maybe he will once or twice, but after that, I'm sure our friendship will begin to dwindle and dissolve.
It's selfish of me to expect him to stay in Kansas forever. I can't ask him to wait for me, especially since I know it's my own hangups that have kept us apart. He's an amazing guy; he'll make some girl really happy. I just don't know anymore if that girl is me.
And like our entire relationship, I don't know what I'm losing. Am I losing a best friend or someone I dated? Either way, it doesn't make the situation hurt any less. He says he'll visit, and maybe he will once or twice, but after that, I'm sure our friendship will begin to dwindle and dissolve.
It's selfish of me to expect him to stay in Kansas forever. I can't ask him to wait for me, especially since I know it's my own hangups that have kept us apart. He's an amazing guy; he'll make some girl really happy. I just don't know anymore if that girl is me.
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